viernes, 31 de diciembre de 2010

Me he negado el derecho a ser feliz




Me he negado el derecho a ser feliz,
A disfrutar el dulce aroma del anís;
A suspirar con retazos de tormento,
Que con cada sufrimiento va en aumento.

Se me olvido un día mi sonrisa,
Que al costo de un placer de desliza;
Recogen mis manos los restos de ceniza
De mi corazón latente que agoniza. 


Mason, Maureen. Healing Heart.


No obstante hace poco se asomó un lucero,
Que llegó de repente, pero tapó un agujero;
De donde desangraban mis sonrisas,
Ahora vuelvo y siento los besos de la brisa.

Esta noche escucho Del Puente a la Alameda
Y en mis manos muchas ilusiones quedan,
Las nubes de Lima hoy lavan,
Lo que normalmente las de Bogotá callan.

Escucho rumores de alegría,
Que desde hace meses se ve sombría;
Sé que pronto acabará el llanto
Y en mi corazón sólo habrá canto.

Escrito en Lima, Perú el 11 de Diciembre de 2010 


viernes, 27 de agosto de 2010

smashed...

My mom asked me one time...
why do you have to love so deeply and passionately that it wears your skin and your bones out?
Right after all is over you have to grow all that back in, and I have to pick up the pieces, and dry out all the tears.
I am infinitely thankful to you mom... I said... this is the only way I know how to love, I give out everything, because I do not want to regret a thing, I like to open my heart, dilate all my veins, open my mind and let feelings break in...
How would love be otherwise?... in a partially safe way?
That way you wouldn't be able to say you have experienced ecstasies inside your soul or been taken apart by the most uncontrollable madness...
Damn! these are the most extreme feelings; devastating... invigorating...
Right now my liver and my inner organs are falling apart, I can feel them hanging inside my hands, 
I can feel how blood is draining out of me in an almost hopeless way, can you see it?
Ooops! Sorry mom, I didn't mean to stain your carpet...  The soap and the brush will take care of it later;
the poison needs to be drained away... and don't worry somehow I will manage to sew up my body together, take a while to heal and maybe another killing accident will happen... or maybe a definite one will heal me for the rest of my life...